Forever Flawless Store Review

So, I very rarely ever go to the mall without my husband because I get swarmed by those overly pushy, highly aggressive, often Middle Eastern sales people who reach out and physically grab you in the mall to shove their junk products down your throat (think:  Dead Sea Spa types).

BUT, lucky for me, today the kids and I were killing time in the mall waiting for my husband to do job testing.  I was actually after the Inside Out button from the Disney Store (a weekly freebie – trying to get the whole set), then we thought we’d walk around.  Unfortunately, we were also out of town, so I did not know the dodge points in this particular mall.  Yes, I am the type of anal that I plan routes to not cross the paths of the rude sales kiosks whenever I can help it.

We walk by this shop called Forever Flawless.  I had no idea what it was, and no interest in it either.  But there was a guy with very fake red hair (by the blonde bits, it looks like he threw peroxide on himself to try and look more “white”) standing outside and trying to hand me a free sample.  Usually, I’ll put up my hand, say no thank you, and keep going – but this sample was in the shape of a diamond, and my daughter reached out for it.  As she clasped her hands around the sample, the man simultaneously put his hand around my wrist and drug me into the store, insisting he had to show me something and it would just take a minute.

Alright, I thought I’d do what my husband does when he gets cornered like this – let them carry on, show me whatever, then say “I’ll think about it” and rush out of there, never to return.  Well, as Magneto said when the police started using plastic weapons against him, “they’ve finally learned!”

This guy, who barely speaks English, gets me in a hair dresser’s chair and starts putting this goop on my face without my permission.  Some kind of skin exfoliation cream.  He starts carrying on, asking me what I do for a living, then insisting that I don’t take care of my skin and that I need to be doing so.  I said that I use soap, and that I don’t really care about my skin because I’m already married, my husband isn’t vain enough to be concerned with my skin, and, being a photographer, my job means that I care about what my clients look like, not myself.  He tried to say that my face was my business card, and I told him “no, my work is my business card.”  He didn’t like that much and just tried to talk circles around me – because, how dare a dumb woman try to talk back to a man, I guess.

After putting three different products on my skin (all of which he applied without ever asking my permission before using it and touching me), he then starts talking prices.  For three products, it was something like $500.  I told him I wasn’t interested, and he started trying to wheel and deal with me to give me his “one voucher for the day” and to give me the items at cost.  I insisted I wouldn’t use it, that I’ve bought crap like this before and I don’t use it.  His response to that was that his crap included diamond dust and would 100% clear up acne.

At this point I was ready to go, but the man would not stop talking in circles.  He was physically blocking me in the chair.  I did not have enough space to even stand up.  Every time I said “no,” he insisted that I needed it.  He said “well, you spend money on clothes don’t you?”  I looked down at my clearance Regular Show t-shirt and said “not really.”  He sighed, getting upset, “well, you spend money on handbags!”  He was good, and he almost had a point, being that I was holding a huge Dooney and Burke bag, but the truth was “this cost $6 at a thrift store.”  He sighed again and got really irritated.

“Listen,” I said, “the photography business isn’t that good, my husband lost his job in April, and these three things that I will never use cost more than my mortgage.  I won’t use this, I could care less about my skin.”

He just kept telling me not to lie to him and say that, everyone cares about their skin, and I’ll feel more beautiful and confident.  When I would laugh with annoyance, he would get mad and ask why I was laughing at him.  I said “I need to go.”

Then, he pulls out his desperate, last trick.  He pushes the other two boxes back and hold up the exfoliation product.  “The other stuff is junk, really, but this you really need.  I tell you what, I’ll give it to you for cost because I know you’ll be my model and then your friends will come buy from me.  $60!”

He wouldn’t stop the sales pitch, he wouldn’t stop blocking me in the chair, and I finally broke and said, “ok, for $60 I’ll take it.”  Mind you, they claim the retail is $180, but there are no stickers on the box to prove this, but I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

Then, I’m trying to check out.  I hand him my card and he walks off and tries to add the other two products back into my purchase.   Uhh, didn’t he just say those were junk anyways?  “NO!  I don’t want those!”  He tried to fight with me and speak more nonsense, but I shot it down.  I guess I looked annoyed enough that he gave up on that – but then he walked to the side of the store and brought out a gift box.  It had the exfoliation cream and a moisturizer, and he told me that it was a left over gift set from Mother’s Day, and he was going to sell me that instead for $100.

I said “no, I’m not going to use the moisturizer.”  “Oh, of course you will,” he told me, “and it’s only $40 more so it’s a better deal for you.”  “I don’t think so.”  “It’s going to save you money, that set, I can sell for $300!”  “I don’t have it, I am living off of $600 a month right now, I don’t have the money to blow on stuff I don’t need!”  “But it’s okay, because this is a years supply so you’ll save money!”  “Look, if this is wonderful stuff, I’ll come back and get this if I want it.”  “It’s on sale now, not later.  It’s only $40 more, it’s a better deal for you.  I save you money!”  “I don’t care.  I will pay full price later IF I want it, but I do not need to pay another $40 for something I’m not going to use.”  “Ohh, no no no, you will use it.  Just use it when you brush your teeth every morning!”  Then he tried pulling out an iPad and trying to show me how much more expensive the creams are online.  “I don’t care.”  “Don’t tell me that!”  “Give me my card back or I’m going to call mall security.”

He finally relented and checked me out for just the $60 exfoliation cream.  Had he not been holding my credit card in my hand this whole time and trying to force an up-sell, I would have already walked out.  Oh, and half the time when I said “not interested,” he acted like he couldn’t understand me and kept going.

I also strongly considered having my husband promptly return this product after his testing ended, but, alas, the receipt says “No Returns” (always a sure sign that a product is garbage).  The product also isn’t sealed, so there’s no way to know if it was ever used as a tester on someone else.  But, the sales people are definitely bullies.  I haven’t seen Dead Sea Spa in a while, I think they finally got enough complaints that the mall we were at today shut them down, but they seem to have just repackaged their stuff and thrown their employees into a different company name.

Now, since I was stuck with it, I did use the creme once.  I used it as directed – applied it to clean skin and washed with warm water after I was finished.  My face feels softer, but also very dried out and itchy.  My eye also feels like it has tiny shards of glass in it (I think I got a little dab of it on my tear duct).  I may update this post if I actually like this product, but I will never step foot in that store again.  I may just scream “rape” and run the next time a Middle Easterner puts their hands on me in the mall again – I’m really over their behavior in every store that they run, and this one was definitely was more terrible than the others I’ve encountered.

I’m also finding online reviews saying that this stuff is not FDA approved, that diamond dust has no proof of being a good exfoliating agent, that the $6 cheap-o stuff works better than Forever Flawless, and that all the sales people are just as horrendous (with the claim that the staff is illegally here from Israel and work in the store to pay for their room and bored – which, if true, is highly illegal on many different levels).  I don’t know about all of these reviews, but I can attest that the staff has no tact or manners, and the men seem to have no problem with bullying female shoppers and putting their hands all over them.  Very disrespectful.

And, as a final note – just because there are Middle Eastern people who work in the mall and act like this does not mean that every Middle Eastern person is this way.  The mall workers definitely tend to fit a stereotype of being rude, aggressive, and pushing high pressure sales, but that doesn’t necessarily equate to the behaviors of an entire region of the world.  Just, you know, stay the hell away from them in the mall if you don’t want to end up in a screaming match.

When Grandparents Play Favorites

So, I have a pair of in-laws that are pieces of work, to say the least.  They managed to raise two boys in a very big atmosphere of “you’re my favorite.”  One got a 1980s used car when he turned 16, the other got a brand new, super loaded pick-up truck (which he wrecked and then was given ANOTHER brand new, super loaded pick-up truck!).  One got in trouble for smoking at age 18, the other was using and dealing drugs at 14, and no one ever seriously tried to stop him.  To say the least, there were some majorly unequal standards set between their two children, which led to a lifetime of problems and resentment between brothers.  Now, as the wife of the former brother (ie, the non-drugged out one), I’ve heard so many stories about unfair, unequal treatment, and I can safely say that it has continued to the next generation.

Typically, I fall into the category of it’s-your-baby-don’t-expect-other-people-to-do-anything-for-it, but there’s a limit when you feel particularly singled out.  My brother-in-law ended up with four children with three women in two years (no multiple births).  No job, didn’t pay child support, bailed on the mothers when he got tired of being responsible.  The brother turned out just how he was raised – never having to do anything he didn’t want to do.  Now, inbetween the brother’s litters of kids, my husband and I had our daughter.  For a hot minute, our daughter was special in my husband’s family as the only girl, but, seven years later, both of our kids are ultimately ignored by their grandparents. 

The feelings of being shunned started early on, too.  I was in my second trimester when the brother’s first set of babies were being born.  The in-laws would freak out and fuss that they needed to get the crib together, create handmade baby blankets, buy this and that, and even bring back gifts from their vacations for their grandchildren-to-be.  Our baby got no acknowledgement, which was hurtful to me, and I know it bothered my husband much more than he would say.  He tries to let things go quickly, but some things are too much not to stand up against.

The in-laws had promised to get us a crib as well.  They offered to do it almost out of spite because my husband said something on MySpace after being irritated that his parents had bought everything for his brother’s two babies, and we were just as poor as they were.  But, even though they made sure to announce that our crib was coming during the baby shower (that they were otherwise empty handed at), by eight months pregnant, we still had no crib.  So, finally, my husband calls them to ask when it was going to happen, because babies arrive early all the time.  Asking that question just angered the in-laws.  His father told him “you’ll get it when you god damn get it!” and hung up on him.

Well, we didn’t care for that answer, so we told them to forget it, went to Walmart, and got our own crib.  Then I posted a MySpace blog about how cruel and rude they were about the matter, especially considering that at four month pregnant the baby mamas of the brother had their cribs.  That certainly caused a stir!  Not only did they show up with a crib we no longer needed, but my father-in-law cursed us out and tried to tell us what horrible people we were for complaining about the situation publicly (if the 24 MySpace friends I had, the only people who could read the post, was considered public).  Essentially, they only bought and brought us the crib because we embarrassed them and they wanted to be able to say I was crazy if anyone they knew should ever question them on the topic.  At that point, the extra crib was returned and charged back to the in-laws credit card because they were too late, we had already bought and assembled a crib – which was what my whole blog centered around.  I thought they had gotten the hint about not treating our baby like a second-class family member, and that I would not take the imbalances quietly, but alas, the crib was just the start in a long line of disappointments. 

For many years we’d see no gifts for the kids at Xmas.  Every so often we might get a box with toys in February or March, and one year, out of seven, we’ve actually gotten gifts for the kids in December.  We thought they’d turned a corner that year and actually started caring, but then it went back to business as usual the next year.  

Birthdays are hit and miss.  They always claim that they have too many grandchildren, so they “forget” when their birthdays are.  I’m sorry, but ultimately six kids is not that damned much to remember.  My grandmother had 12 children and almost 50 grandchildren and, even as a woman on welfare, she was very kindly and prompt with giving gifts to everyone on their birthdays.  Some years my in-laws might send a check between $5 to $20, other years my daughter might get an empty card four months after her birthday, and, more often than not, my daughter gets nothing.  Now, it’s not about the amount you send, it’s about a child being able to grow up feeling like she matters.  Even if they went out and bought her little things from the Dollar Tree, it would still be something from the grandparents.

Sometimes the in-laws would insist that they were dirt poor, and therefore couldn’t afford any gifts.  That would be a believable excuse if I didn’t actually know them.  However, like true hypocrites, then they would go golfing four days a week, which is no cheap sport, constantly eat out, and have time shares in Florida.  Plus, they go out of their way to brag to us about how much they’ve bought for the brother’s horde of children.  I can’t tell you how many times my mother-in-law would pull me over to her trunk and show me 20-30 outfits, just to show off to me how much she’d spent on her other grandchildren.  When my husband finally got upset enough to say something, his parents said that they only do it because they know their son won’t provide for his own children.  I’m sorry, but we spent many years on welfare ourselves, and even if they know their son is a dirt bag, how can you buy 30 outfits for some of your grandchildren and not even one for your other grandchild?  Even at six grandchildren, you could buy each of them five outfits a piece.  And if you really want to act like that is a good enough excuse, or a legitimate excuse at all, then why are you rubbing the clothes you didn’t buy for our kids in our faces?  That excuse is just a pathetic way to prove, over and over, that you are still playing favorites for whatever reasons that you can conjure up.

Even this past Xmas, my mother-in-law sent my husband a Facebook message and told him that they were going to be late with Xmas presents again.  My husband literally wrote back with “okay” and his drama mama retorted with “well, we’re just too broke!  It’s not my fault!  We’re not spending it all on your niece if that’s what you’re thinking!”  At that point my husband’s niece was living with the in-laws, and she was very much the daughter they always wanted, but never had. Now, not only is it August at this point, and not even so much as a card was given to my kids, but then my mother-in-law is bragging on the phone about how she went to her other grandson’s birthday party and bought him tons of Ninja Turtles goodies.  They won’t make the trip to come to our kids’ parties, or send them anything for their birthdays or Xmases, but apparently she couldn’t stand the thought of showing up to that grandson’s party empty handed, so bought lots of items to “make up for birthdays she missed.”  Make up for Xmas first or just shut up about the whole thing in front of us!

Am I nuts or is this completely unacceptable grandparent behavior?  I don’t care if we end up as millionaires, don’t treat your grandchildren differently, or act as if one is more deserving than another.  Even simple things like homemade blankets are too much for them to care about.  In these seven years the in-laws haven’t even offered to take the kids somewhere, to a free park or anything – not even to let them spend the night at their house- and they claim to be on the door of bankruptcy, but then they turn around and join golfing leagues that are over an hour from their house and have high end cable plans and other optional expenses.  It’s not even about my kids when they start screaming they’re broke, it’s about crying wolf when they clearly aren’t making any sacrifices to the lifestyle that they shouldn’t be able to afford unless they’re lying to cover their behavior.  Which they clearly are.  It just made me insane until I got to the point where I simply refuse to go out of my way to deal with them any more.

I’ve decided it’s not my job to make excuses for anyone, and I’ve stopped trying to do so for these grandparents.  Their grandchildren will grow up having a very vague idea of who they are, and they will remember that they watched as presents were handed out to other grandchildren at Xmas, but not to them.  That is the legacy of hurt that these in-laws of mine have chosen to provide, and if my kids refuse to speak to them or go to their funerals one day, I can’t say that I’d blame them.