This blog has seemed to form into a place where I vent about my frustrations in the adult world. I guess I’m not one of those people that sees that glass as half-full, and I never really have been – I actually recall explaining in 5th grade that pessimism is better, because you will never be disappointed if you are already expecting a bad outcome. With that in mind, I invite you to explore the current state of fundraising with me, and let me know by the end if you’re starting to say “enough!” with me.
So, about two years ago my kids became “real” people and started doing things. Not wibbly-wobbly baby gymnastics or lets-pretend-to-play-football, but they actually started joining clubs, teams, and organizations. Here is a list of some of our affiliations since 2012:
- Girl Scouts
- Cub Scouts
- Tae Kwon Do
- 4-H
- Track
- Art Club
- Drama Club
- Book Bowl Team
- Gymnastics
- Dance
- Cheer
- Pokemon
- Horse Club
- Archery Club
- Math Club
- Soccer
For the most part, we stick with short-term, lower cost programs so that the kids can try out different activities and find out what they do/don’t like. Horse Club, for instance, is one monthly meeting and a $10 yearly fee. If you get riding lessons and enter shows, that fee starts to grow exponentially, but, to try it out there is very little time/money to risk. Right now, we’re obviously in the exploratory phases, but, eventually, I’d like to shave this down to a few activities per child.
But, with the exception of Pokemon, every single one of those groups have had fundraisers. It gets exhausting and embarrassing, because here we are, new to our area with no one to sell to, and anyone we ask is already being hit up from a friend/relative. So, the only things we are able to sell come out of our own pocket. Then consider that many of these groups have both of our kids in it, which means we have to try to sell/buy double. We’re going broke trying to look like decent, contributing members of these groups.
This doesn’t even count the kids’ school itself, who has already had at least EIGHT fundraisers this school year alone! That isn’t even counting the classic fundraisers, like book fair, which hasn’t even happened yet (but it is on the calendar to arrive three times this year!). And the part that is beginning to urk at me is that I’m not seeing where the money is going. You would think that, every so often, they’d say “art supplies purchased through fundraising efforts” or something like that, but it doesn’t happen (and, yes, I have been on the PTA as well and have rarely heard about funds, other than they always need more). I’m sure the money is going somewhere in the school, but sometimes I wonder if they are fundraising just to throw bigger fundraisers like art shows and fall festivals – because they are always broke!
Now, I have been a volunteer in multiple groups, and when I ran a Girl Scout troop I ultimately ended up over the finances as well, because people make commitments then stop showing up. I would always go out of my way to say “we can plan a trip to Build-A-Bear with our Fall Product money,” or the like, just so it’s clear that I was using the funds on the girls and in ways that they were choosing. However, to date I’m the only one I’ve ever known to explain where the money was used, or to keep the troop’s spending and financial records open for the parents to view. Every other group just drills it into the ground that they NEED more money without ever explaining why or where it’s being used. After all, in soccer, if I’m paying for my kids to play, paying for their uniforms, balls, shoes, shin guards, and trophy/party at the end of the season, what exactly do you need more money for, coach? I’d just like to know! Or, this is just me thinking out loud here, maybe the kids don’t need a t-shirt for every club they join. Especially not the ones that only last 2-3 months and don’t even compete.
I’m not a rich woman, and it’s gotten to where I can’t keep up with it any more, so I’m changing my status from begrudging participant to politely declining. I would prefer pay outright for what my kids need (hey, coach, I’ll donate a soccer ball if that helps you!) rather than keep shoveling out money for expensive products or services that I would never buy otherwise. For example, I have never chosen to go to Dominos to eat – I don’t have a problem with them, I’ve gone with friends before, but I just prefer other places more – so buying a $10 Dominos discount card isn’t a wise choice for me. I have something to do every evening of the week, so I’m tired of trying to run across three cities to get to a spirit nights at Chick-Fil-A before it ends. Book fares are outdated now that Amazon or eBay will have the book for a fraction of the price. I absolutely do not like Girl Scout cookies – which is weird, I know, because I love a lot of cookies, but the varieties that we get here do not appeal to me at all. And, I really don’t need to buy overpriced wrapping paper when I normally get it from the Dollar Tree, nor do I need to buy flower bulbs when I can buy giant bags of them at Walmart for $5.
At one point, our now former Cub Scouts pack started asking me to buy/donate full uniforms for Scouts who couldn’t afford them. I was the only one approached, but I was singled out with a small group of people. I thought that was interesting, since the uniform isn’t really required in scouting. They like you to have it, but, you aren’t kicked out for not buying it – I also believe the council’s offer financial aid to help cover these types of expenses for less fortunate families. Mind you, the only reason I didn’t apply for uniform aid myself was because my dad bought my son’s uniform as an early birthday present. I also thought I was going to lose my mind at being asked to purchase a uniform for a stranger, since the complete package is about $100! It can be hard enough to get hit up for $5 or $10 cash donations, but to spend $100?! The pack’s argument was that it was tax deductible to donate a uniform, but my counter point was that I didn’t make enough in a year to pay taxes, so I don’t get tax deductions!
What I’ve also learned is that if you say “yes,” donate, purchase, or volunteer once, you are expected to replicate that action for everything that the group does. To a degree, I don’t mind it, because if I’m just sitting there anyways I’d prefer to be useful. However, when it comes to the financial/go-sell-this-for-us end of things, I’ve had enough. I’m tapped out. I don’t have an extensive network of friends and family to hit up. My husband will get fired for trying to sell to his co-workers or customers. So, I’m just pretending not to even see the flyers or hear the phone calls now. I have to admit, it has taken a lot of stress off of my bank account already.
This school year, I have declined to participate in all but a few fundraisers. We did the Cub Scout popcorn, which I could sell to family online since I know no one in a five state radius. They ship it straight to the orderer and I don’t have to stress out about cross-country delivery that way. And we’ve done our track teams race, along with another race that donated money to our school for each participant. But, to be fair, we have a race quota to fill in the track team, so it was just a matter of choosing ones that hit two birds with one stone. I suppose you could count school pictures as a fundraiser too, but that’s a staple item that I think every parent should get every year.
So who’s with me? I would say it’s my own fault for joining so many groups, but the school has more fundraisers than all the groups combined. Have I lost touch with the concept of being on a team or part of a community, or have things just gotten out of control in the fundraising department? From K-12, I have a very clear memory, and I can remember less than a handful of fundraisers popping up (aside from photos/book fares at school), they were all for extra curricular activities like traffic scouts or basketball, and they were few and far inbetween. Am I the only one who would prefer to pay for what their child needs than to carry around a dozen different order forms each month?
Trying to Mom 